Melwin Joy
AUTHOR

Melwin Joy

All stories by: Melwin Joy
My interview with a porn star

It is most likely that you have watched atleast a single porn movie or read about the porn industry, even if you vehemently deny it publically. To tell the truth it probably was the side effect of the advent of technology. “Love making” or “sex”, which was once a revered relationship pinnacle between a male and female, today has dipped into a substandard gruesome terminology that is both shameful and derogative.

The development of the Porn Industry combined with the 21st century technological advancements have led to the ease of access to such content. It’ll be hard to believe that “sex” and “porn” are still words that make people squeamish. The porn industry is the biggest “elephant in the room” the Internet has ever come across, yet it’s one of the most lucrative industries. Regardless of the overwhelming popularity, there is an ugly side to it that most would turn their heads to. From cheating to painful experiences, health issues and blackmails, extortion and even murder, there is no end to the stories and facts.

So where do we turn to in order to differentiate and understand the facts, fiction and figures? Well I don’t know if this will help but during a flight I had the privilege of meeting a former porn star, who does sum up the bitter truth as well as the ugly facets.

MEETING A PORN STAR

Linda (name changed) is a porn star from USA. She was from a middle class family whose father worked hard to give her the best education in the top institutions. As a teenager her curiosity towards sex and related subjects were neutral even though her friends were into dildos, sex toys and sexual relationships. Eventually their influences lead her to a world of parties, drugs, accessories and apparels. Once she got a whiff of an expensive living she was unable to go back to her normal past, even if she wished for; and as a result she changed.

Further down the road of life Linda was thrown into a life she never would have chosen for herself and from which she couldn’t escape that easily. She was cheated, raped, drugged, forced to do things she hate and forced to torment many things that were utmost painful.

Here is an excerpt from the life of a porn star that sheds some light on the industry and how it adversely affects the life of people.

How big is this porn industry?

You cannot imagine the size of this industry. And it will be a shock to the people when they know the kind and type of people who are really involved in this Industry. This is the only industry where there is no importance for feelings at all, even though when you call it Sex industry. You might even get killed if you rise against this industry.

What happened to you?

I never volunteered to join the industry as it is. Sandra, my Mexican roommate and also a pimp – which I found out later, forcefully suggested me to be an escort for a Russian businessman for a night; all because I owed her some money. I was drugged that night and woke up the next morning – raped and with a bleeding vagina. “What happened had happened” was the advice that I got at that time.

I couldn’t find Sandra for two days after this and finally third day she came to my room and I caught her on neck and asked why did she do this to me? She said I was drunk and so on, which couldn’t be justified. I was under depression and Sandra said that she got the money from Russian guy and I don’t have to pay anymore. But she told me that this industry gives a lot of money and anytime if I want to get into this, I can contact her.

And you decided to get into that, so that no one knows about it?

You are wrong; I didn’t want to do such things. I agree that I was on drugs and partying, but I never wanted to do such weird thing for money at that time. I said I would return Sandra’s money soon, because I was working in a Supermarket at that time for part time income.

I made a mistake and I made up my mind and realized that my regular simple life with family was the best and I decided to go back to Home. When I reached home I got to know that my father was detected with cancer in his stomach. The treatment cost alone was so high that I was unable to handle, so after thinking about it a lot I called Sandra.

The next day Sandra came with the same Russian man to my house. She met my parents and said that they were hiring me for a sales related job and that I would be travelling a lot henceforth. They said that they will take care of all expenses of my father’s treatment. And they took me back to a different place. And told me that I can choose what has to be done. And finally I decided to be an act in a porn movie.

Finally you came into this industry; let me ask some questions on that? Where were these movie shot and was it legal to do?

It was not at all legal. They use to film these porn movies at private locations, private mansions, hotel rooms and so on. There were big vehicles like truck in which they make like rooms of house also.

How long you acted in porn movies?

I did this for 5 years. The horrible days of my life. I acted in lesbian movies and also acted with almost 100+ men in different videos.

What were the difficulties you face?

You need to understand; this is the worst job in the world. I was infected with chlamydia numerous times and once had gonorrhoea and have had to repeatedly fight off bacterial infections. I always use to have injuries from sex acts I performed on shoots. Some scenes left me with tearing and bleeding and required heavy pain medication to endure. Even you have a chance to get infected with HIV+.

How you prevent from getting disease, especially sexually transmitted diseases like HIV?

There’s no condoms allowed, so we’re forced to do unprotected sex — and I can’t tell you how many people alter their tests. They had 4 HIV cases, a high bunch out of a very small group of people. We know that most of the porn stars have had an STD at one time or another, and they estimate between 66% to 99% have herpes. They don’t test for herpes; so all these people are involved with rampant STDs.

Were you tested medically for these?

Yes, I was. Luckily I am perfectly ok. I have tested for my HIV and the results were Negative. And I am no more a porn star now.

Watching porn has adverse effects on couples in real life. Can you tell the difference in reel life and real life?

I was expecting this question from you. I know the industry has affected a lot in people life. But I would like to share some facts about this industry and the people involved in this. Because whoever reads this through your magazine, would understand that and can secure his family which will be a giving back to society for all that we had done wrong.

Real sex inside family is sacred and what happens in porn movies is just a crazy acting. Every porn star acting in the movie is same as normal human being. They are not super men or women. The sexual intercourse which you see in movie last for minutes and may be for hours, because we are on steroids and medications. Men take injections on penis and consume viagra. And women are also on hormonal injections and steroids, which are harmful for the human. And also the camera is recording and then next frame is taken if a man ejaculates. So the person who watches the porn thinks that the man performing for hours is natural. It’s a mistake what people think. Every human are same in that naturally.

What is your take on the expectations of men from women, who watch such movies?

A man should never expect what they see in porn from their real life. Most of the women in porn industry don’t like oral sex and anal sex. It’s the dirty. Like other women we also have bellies, our vaginal areas are black, our under arms are hairy and black, we have hairs and pigmentations are our private parts also. But when you see us on porn movies, we look like dolls. It’s only in the movie. Because they use make up, colours and shavers to make us in a way that we look like special species. And men should not expect the same from their wives at all, because their wives might be better than us. We are what with cosmetics and lights, which make us, look better. We also take breaks in between the shoot, because we are not able to bear the pain.

What’s your advice to men?

I want to talk blunt to men; don’t expect your partner to perform like us, which you see in Porn movie. It’s impossible for any women to do like that naturally. We do it because they produce the video after several takes and we are on steroids and while in breaks, we cry like animals with pain of tear and bleeding. We do like that because we are paid to create an imaginative world inside men’s mind in thinking all this is true and real. It’s all FAKE! It’s not at all real. It can only break your family, nothing else. Stop expectation, which is impossible. And men who act in porn movies, without the steroids and medicines, they ejaculate in few minutes. Every man is almost same in this world. So don’t disappoint in the time you take and time you need. If there is a different, it would be in few minutes. Not hours.

Studies have found that frequency of porn use correlates with depression, anxiety, stress, and social problems. Even moderate porn use is correlated with shrunken grey matter in parts of the brain that oversee cognitive function. There are clear differences in brain activity between patients who have compulsive sexual behaviour and healthy volunteers.

“Sexual tastes are moulded by an individual’s experiences and their culture,” says Dr. Norman Doidge, FRCP, who is a noted Canadian-born psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. Porn use has been found to influence some users’ sexual preferences, leaving them wanting what they’ve seen onscreen and significantly less satisfied with sex in real life.

After being exposed to pornography, men reported being less satisfied with their partners’ physical appearance, sexual performance, and level of affection and express greater desire for sex without emotional involvement. Among the effects of the use of pornography are an increased negative attitude toward women, decreased empathy for victims of sexual violence and an increase in dominating and sexually imposing behaviour.

A meta-analysis of different studies found that exposure to either nonviolent or violent porn increased behavioural aggression, including both violent fantasies and actual violent assaults. When someone views pornography, they end up creating an intimate bond with an artificial, fake world and can actually lose the ability to bond with real people.

In the long run, pornography will not shore up a shaky ego, will not fill the emptiness left from childhood wounds or abandonment, will not save a shaky relationship or failing marriage and is not satisfying. In fact, it will magnify each emotional wound from the past and cripple your ability to meet your essential emotional needs, damage your ability to have a healthy relationship and leave you unable to sexually or emotionally respond to your partner.

Interviewed conducted by Ansif Ashraf, Chief Editor, Cochin Herald.

Email: mail@ansif.com

Melwin Joy
AUTHOR

Melwin Joy

All stories by: Melwin Joy